You have the right to remain silent, Alan Dershowitz.
No one is compelling you to rush to the Wall Street Journal and remind us once more that you are deeply embroiled — and yes, you never removed them! — in the Jeffrey Epstein scandal.
Four years ago, when Dershowitz was a youthful 81-year-old, we suggested that someone who genuinely cared for him should take his phone and toss it into the ocean. Quick action is imperative! Do it now, while he’s lamenting in the waves, realizing that no one wishes to join him for a no-pants gathering at his favorite nude beach on Martha’s Vineyard!
If this individual could refrain from speaking for just ten minutes, perhaps the public would begin to forget the significant role he played in securing that disgraceful plea deal for Epstein in Florida. Or that he labeled Epstein’s young victims as mere prostitutes. Furthermore, he engaged in a protracted conflict with one of those victims, the late Virginia Giuffre, and her attorney, David Boies.
Regrettably, that was not destined to happen.
Instead, Dershowitz has spent the past four years portraying himself as some type of renegade liberal while promoting conspiracy theorists like Mike Lindell. Therefore, it is not particularly surprising that at the precise moment the flames of this scandal threaten to engulf the Trump administration, the professor is rushing in, stripping down to his underwear, and diving into the chaos.
The Wall Street Journal piece tantalizingly promises “The Inside Scoop on Jeffrey Epstein.”
“I was his lawyer. I possess knowledge that court orders won’t permit me to reveal,” he theatrically proclaims in the subheading.
However, like a fading burlesque performer, he leans heavily into suggestive allure, carefully concealing any potentially offensive details that might disturb his audience’s delicate sensibilities.
Dershowitz asserts that there is no “client list,” and insists that no familiar names appear on it:
Epstein never compiled a “client list.” The FBI interviewed alleged victims who identified several “clients.” These names have been redacted and should be revealed, but the courts have ordered them sealed. I am aware of their identities. They do not include any current officeholders.
Last week, the DOJ revealed that “The files associated with Epstein contain a vast array of images of Epstein, images and videos of victims who are either minors or appear to be minors, and over ten thousand downloaded videos and images of illegal child sex abuse material and other pornography.” However, Dershowitz claims that the only tapes present “are of public spaces within his Palm Beach, Florida residence,” and that the camera was placed there by police following a burglary. He did not specify when he made this alarming discovery.
I hope Epstein made videos
There have been whispers that Epstein recorded secret videos of all the men who engaged in sexual activities at his residences and on his aircraft. I hope he did, and that they are released because they will confirm that I am not among them. I hereby waive any right of privacy concerning Epstein videos.— Alan Dershowitz (@AlanDersh) July 5, 2020
Dershowitz contends that President Trump is entirely innocent, that Epstein was never a Mossad agent according to “my sources in Israel,” and that the infamous pedophile likely committed suicide after being intentionally left alone by his jailers.
He refrained from repeating his previous diatribe against age of consent laws.
I challenge my readers to differentiate the cases, as a matter of constitutional law. I did not propose that it is moral to have sexual relations with a 16-year-old, but rather that this issue presents a constitutional conundrum deserving of discussion. 2/
— Alan Dershowitz (@AlanDersh) July 29, 2019
Instead, he expressed disapproval of “gossip mongers” who become irritated when “stubborn facts (or the lack of facts) interfere with a tantalizing theory.”
“I apologize for any disappointment, but there truly isn’t much to see here, aside from what has already been made public,” he concluded, reminding us all that he has little to contribute, and he is determined to keep reiterating this in our faces for as long as he can.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore, where she produces the Law and Chaos substack and podcast.
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